"I don't even remember crying or when I actually got to hold her"

Nicole is one of the strongest women I know (and in my line of work, I know A LOT of really strong women...)


This is Nicole's fourth birth - and second birth that I've had the pleasure to witness and document. And just like her previous birth, this one challenged her in ways she never expected.


Nicole's partner, Mike, was deployed shortly after they found out she was pregnant. And just like her previous 3 births, she had accepted the fact that she would be having her baby without her partner present. (You may remember Nicole from a story I told a few years ago - "When Nothing Goes to Plan". You can read that story here.)


Nicole was excited to be a mom again, and this time decided to keep the gender a surprise. Only her oldest daughter knew what they were having. But Nicole's intuition was strong that she would be having another girl (her 3rd of 4 children). She told me during her pregnancy "I don't even have boy names picked out. Just girls. I call it a girl. If it's born a boy I'll be in shock"


Nicole was due February 18th, and Mike was scheduled to come home for a temporary leave the afternoon of February 10th. No one thought Nicole would last that long (she typically delivers early). She decided to schedule an induction for February 13th, but was sure she would have the baby before then. She told me "My doctor is surprised I'm still pregnant, and I'm like 'same girl'"


But, in true birth fashion (especially for Nicole) - pretty much nothing went to plan.


Mike was scheduled to fly in on the afternoon of Saturday the 10th. Nicole's contractions started on Friday, February 9th. She was fully prepared to give birth without him there. And at 8pm on Friday evening, Nicole called to let me know she was headed to the hospital, so I hopped in my car to meet her there.


Meanwhile, without even knowing that Nicole was in early labor, Mike asked for (and was miraculously able to get) an earlier flight that landed him at the airport at 10 pm on Friday evening instead of Saturday afternoon.


This was a GREAT change of plans, because that meant Mike was going to be able to be there when baby arrived!

Patient resting in hospital bed checks their phone while in labor.
Black and white photo of masked photographer with camera bag entering hospital room door.
Dad sees mom for the first time in months since being deployed at the hospital during the Labor of their first child together.

By the time I arrived at the hospital in Omaha (about an hour drive for me), Nicole was nice and cozy in bed with her epidural after driving herself to the hospital. She was already in active labor when she arrived, so now it was just a waiting game.


Mike's brother picked him up from the airport so he was there with us, along with Nicole's sister. We all hung out, played cards, and talked about Mike's wild run through the airport to catch his earlier flight.

Medical staff and visitors gather in hospital room with patient during labor.
Two people share a meal at a hospital room table while having conversation

Everything was progressing great but it was getting late, so we decided to get some rest before the big finale.

Black and white photo of exhausted support person resting on hospital room counter during labor.

After a little snooze, Nicole started feeling some pressure. Baby was still pretty high in the pelvis, so we tried some different positions to see if we could get them to rotate and descend.

Laboring mom lies over the edge of the hospital bed

Mike woke up and helped with some tug of war to see if that would help. Nicole pushed and pushed. We tried every position possible with an epidural. Baby didn't budge...

Dad helping his partner push during labor using the tug-of-war technique with a sheet
Laboring mother pushing in a hospital bed
Medical professionals attend to a patient during labor after she learns she will need a c-section

After a few hours of pushing, Nicole made the decision with her provider that it was time to opt for a c-section. The photos were super important to her, so she advocated to have me present in the delivery room. To my surprise (and excitement) - they allowed it!! (I literally cried when they handed me scrubs).

Healthcare team surrounds a patient on a medical bed with monitoring equipment and fan nearby.

This change of plans was extremely difficult for Nicole.


"I never in my life thought I'd have gotten a c-section"


We headed down the hallway to the OR. Aunt and Uncle had to wait patiently in the waiting room until baby was born.

Hospital stretcher being moved through a dimly lit corridor in black and white to OR for c-section
Two family members seen through glass window in hospital hallway waiting for a c-section

In the OR, Nicole was filled with anxiety. As a red-head, local anesthetic is not as effective to her (a fun fact I learned at this birth). I was impressed both at this birth and her last how mobile she was with an epidural - and now I knew why.


However, when it comes to major abdominal surgery that you're awake for, not having local anesthetic work is a major problem. She was so scared of feeling the surgery, and could feel the pain each time they tested to see if the anesthesia was working. Between the emotional overwhelm of opting for a c-section, and the fact that she continued to feel everything when they were testing, Nicole understandably panicked.


"I have no idea what happened because I kept feeling it and then had a panic attack"

Medical team in blue surgical gowns performing C-section delivery in bright operating room.

She ultimately decided to go under general anesthesia to birth her sweet baby. As such, dad and I were removed from the delivery room and waited in the hallway until baby was delivered.

dad in protective gear stands in hospital hallway near OR doorway.

A few minutes after baby was delivered, Mike and I were allowed to go into the OR to see the baby and capture photos of her. Nicole's surgery was still finishing up and Mike stayed close to their baby girl, letting her know she was safe and she would be with her mommy soon.

new dad in protective equipment examines newborn baby in hospital bassinet.
Newborn baby lying in hospital bassinet on patterned bedding.
Medical staff examining newborn baby on hospital examination table with monitoring equipment.

I captured one photo of her during this process. I didn't know if she would want to see it, but knew that it could be an important part of her healing from the experience - so I captured it and told her I would send it when she was ready to see it.


To my surprise, she was ready right away!

A parent in blue hospital attire leans over a newborn baby in a hospital bassinet displaying intense emotion.

As Nicole's surgery was wrapping up, Mike, baby Stevie, and I went out into the hallway to wait for Nicole to wake up. They brought her into the hallway on the way to the recovery room, and Mike got to tell her that they had a beautiful baby girl. She was groggy, but so relieved to hear that her baby was doing well - and her intuition was right about the gender!

A sleeping newborn baby swaddled in white with butterfly print material rests peacefully.

While Nicole was in recovery, the rest of the family got to meet baby Stevie and spend some quality time with her. Mike was the first to feed her and give her skin-to-skin time.

A parent wearing jeans holds and feeds a newborn baby while sitting in a hospital chair.
A crying newborn baby being bottle fed shows visible emotion during feeding time.
A auntie in black holds a swaddled newborn wrapped in patterned fabric.
A person in red sweater gazes lovingly at a sleeping newborn baby wrapped in white.

Even I got to enjoy some baby snuggles. Nicole told me after the fact how precious even those photos were to her.


"I saved the photos of you because I keep looking at them like 'she is a part of my family now'. Now you are a part of two of my kids' birth stories. I'm so glad I found you"

A black and white hospital room view through doorway shows medical equipment and staff.

Nicole was finally wheeled into postpartum after spending about an hour in recovery. She was so ready to finally meet her baby girl. She cried. I cried. It was perfect.

Hospital room scene shows medical staff attending to patient with newborn baby.
Healthcare workers assist with newborn care in a hospital room setting.
Medical staff assist with skin-to-skin contact between parent and newborn in hospital setting.
An intimate black and white photograph captures a tender moment of connection in a hospital room.

Nicole sent me this message after she saw the photos of her meeting Stevie.


"I don't even remember crying or when I actually got to hold her....I literally don't remember anything from the moment they knocked me out until like super late that night"

A touching black and white hospital scene shows a tender moment with a newborn baby.

"I'm so glad you were there to catch memories I didn't get to be a part of"


THIS is the reason I love what I do so much. And why I think birth photography becomes even more important when things don't go as planned. These photos can help you put together the pieces you don't remember (or you weren't present for), so that you can process everything that happened. The good, the "bad", and the beautiful.

Black and white portrait of a newborn baby being gently cradled in adult hands.

If you don't have a plan to capture your birth story yet, go download my FREE Birth Photography Shot List - with all of the most important moments to capture, along with some pro-tips for better, more creative images. Grab it here --> Birth Photography Shot List



If you're local to the Lincoln NE area and want to learn more about birth photography and videography services, let's connect! Your initial consult is always free so you can get ALL the info and ask all your questions before deciding if professional birth photography is right for you. 

My goal is to help shift cultural perceptions about birth and parenthood through the power of unbiased support and visual storytelling. Our stories are powerful. Birth is powerful. The more we share our stories, the more we normalize birth and the struggles/triumphs of parenthood. Our stories shape who we are, and they have the power to show others that they're not alone. If this resonates with you, I encourage you to share this story with someone who it can inspire.